So, I’m finding that identifying my danger zones are a huge help with my food addiction. My biggest danger zone is…
DRUM ROLL PLEASE!
That’s right. I am a personal banker and therefore I sit in an office all day. When it’s time for me to go on lunch, I swing through the drive thru, every single day. And you know what? I order my food without shame. I am in a protected bubble of secrecy that holds no judgment. A ten piece nugget or a fifty piece nugget, what does it matter? The only thing they see is my head. The workers swipe my card and keep the line moving. My mouth waters as I await my food. When I finally get my hands on it, I eat it as messy as I want to. It’s not like anyone is watching me. I can eat how much ever and what ever I want inside the four walls of my car.
After realizing that my car was a dark place for me, I started making changes. I told myself, “NO MORE EATING IN THE CAR!” And surprisingly, it lead to helpful matters. I don’t eat as much fast food because I don’t usually have time to sit down and spend an hour of my time inside of a fast food restaurant. I’m socializing more being around others. And I’m being held accountable for my actions. When I order food there is something about ordering it in person, face to face. I am ashamed to announce a list of food items like I would in secrecy.
So, think a little and tell me. What are your danger zones?
So, I guess this is the part where I introduce my blog and quite frankly there is no need to make a long story longer. Cutting straight to the chase here:
I created this blog to help not only myself but hopefully a ton of others with their food addictions.
So for starters, here’s a nifty little food addiction cycle:
I was up late last night going through my very usual self pity routine. You know how it goes. First, you feel guilty. You think about how badly you’ve just cheated on your “diet.” Then, you feel disgusted. You think about how fat and gross you are. Your self esteem is non existent at this point. Finally, you feel hopeless. You think about how many times you’ve tried and failed. You accept your fate. “I’m always going to be fat.” But as time goes on, your interest in weight loss is magically sparked again and you’re doing wonderful until you cheat. Now you’re laying in bed crying going through your very usual self pity routine and you know how it goes. First, you…
Here’s the deal. I know I sound like an expert with that depressing cycle above and that’s kind of because I am… at eating myself to death. I just want you to know that I do not have all of the answers, at least not now.
That cycle is literally me. And so this blog is my last hope. I figured that admitting my addiction struggle along with my successful moments will pull both of us through this deep and dark hole of food addiction.